Breast is (obviously?) best

I've found something new to be thankful for: that it never occurred to me that breastfeeding is a "choice" to agonize or beat myself (or anyone else) up over.

If you read this blog and think me ignorant, innocent, or a typical self-centered and idealistic new parent, I won't mind...and if you think I'm judging any woman who makes a different decision than me, you certainly don't know me. I've been relatively oblivious to the power of "what other people think about me" and "what other people want me to think" and "what other people should think with their own minds" since I was a very little girl (and my mom and sisters have stories to  support me in that assertion). This hasn't always led to the best outcomes, and so I have learned to be more sensitive, but it's still reflexive for me to "follow my own drummer" before listening for anyone else's.

So it's been interesting for me to learn about the perspectives of women who DO care what other people think about them, especially when it comes to child care. And boy, do "other people" seem to care about what women do with their breasts!

There's a breast AND a nipple
in this photo.
Are you excited? Or offended?
Or oblivious?

It seems that, according to American popular culture, breasts are first and foremost sexual objects, and any use of them is, therefore, sexual. Apparently breastfeeding initially fell "out of fashion" in the early part of the last century, and once the corporate marketing engines got going in the 1950's, it was widely considered to be a "lower-class" way to provide for children's nutritional needs. Simultaneously, societal thoughts about breasts were warped by the explosion of objectification of women in the popular media, and our society felt a kind of twisted shame about this explosion. I say twisted because today, instead of thinking "objectification of women and their component parts is shameful," or, "people who can't control/politely suppress their sexual thoughts are acting shamefully" the societal mind says, "visible pieces of women's component parts which might incite sexual thoughts are shameful," and, therefore, so are the women "exposing themselves" by feeding their children using the parts they were born with exclusively for that very function. See? Twisted. I have a brain cramp now.

Seriously, should the fact that you might have a foot fetish make me feel ashamed about exposing my feet to walk with them?

So it never really occurred to me, even long before I got pregnant, that I would do anything other than breastfeed my child/children. I was rather surprised to be asked at my very first prenatal appointment whether I plan to breastfeed (I apparently have VERY pro-breastfeeding doctors and midwives), because, I thought, why would I do anything else? Only physical problems or severe (probably job-related) logistical factors would cause me to consider anything different. And I've been quite surprised to learn that apparently my attitude is rare, compared with many American women who feel the need to seriously deliberate, research, justify, and enforce their choice to feed their children using the glands nature provides all mammals with to nourish our offspring.

May 2012 Cover of TIME.
The article was about "Attachment Parenting"
but the cover got the most attention.

For example, this cultural condemnation is apparently bad enough for some that entire blogs like the Badass Breastfeeder dedicate their existence to promoting breastfeeding and nursing in public (the Facebook page for the Badass Breastfeeder has 25,000 likes!), and fundraising is underway to produce a video which publicizes the struggle faced by women who haven't yet made a choice. Some women feel enough anti-breastfeeding social pressure that they feel the need to fight for their right to nurse in public places. Read the comments on photos of women nursing in public and you'll see dozens of stories about bystanders who stare in disgust, who tell them that their actions are obscene or inappropriate, who tell them to go to the restroom to feed the child. The restroom? Do YOU eat in the restroom? Some commenters go so far as to say that breastfeeding in public is the same as masturbating or defecating in public (seriously?!).  The comments that strangers AND family/friends make to these women are often hateful and generally just sad.

Now, despite learning about all of this pressure, I still don't feel weird for just always knowing and planning to breastfeed...but perhaps my personal percussion section is just too loud. When I think about every mother I'm related to (2 sisters, 3 cousins, mom, aunt) and all of the children they've mothered (somewhere upwards of 15), I'm almost positive that all of them breastfed for at least some portion of every child's life. And I guess the most influential people to a woman's "instinctive" mothering choices would usually be the mothers she actually knows. So I can see how my influencers might be different, and that helps me to come closer to relating to why other women might not find the choice as natural as I do. 

I'm also aware that, although it's completely natural, breastfeeding is not "easy" or "painless." But neither is childbirth or parenting, for that matter. I'm thankful that, should something happen that makes it impossible for me to nurse my child, there are alternatives available, including "breastmilk banks" where women donate their extra milk (after testing and pasteurization) to support women who can't make their own!

A huge problem as far as "choosing" to breastfeed goes seems to be that women who don't naturally choose to breastfeed are absolutely bombarded by marketing and cultural messages about what they should be doing, instead. Even the medical industry is sucked into providing free formula to new parents, and standards of care can be in many ways less-than-supportive of the conditions that foster breastfeeding immediately after childbirth.

Did you know that the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding exclusively (no water, no juice, no rice cereal) for 6 months? And that they recommend that breastfeeding continue for two years and beyond? But social pressure in the US is so strong that even women who DO breastfeed are pressured to wean early, introduce solid foods faster than medically recommended, and generally to STOP breastfeeding ASAP. What gives?!

I won't even go into the nutritional and biological factors that make breastmilk superior to anything that we are capable of manufacturing ourselves, which is merely sufficient for meeting basic needs. But if you don't know, you can Google it.

Anyway, our plan is to breastfeed exclusively for six months and to introduce solid foods as Baby indicates she's ready, which is normally after 6 months for most babies. We'll only give her solid foods that she can eat and handle herself, so no spoon-feeding of prepared baby foods. I'll pump as much as I can and let Doug feed her once our nursing pattern is fully established. And if, God forbid, something prevents me from being able to nurse or pump, then we'll look into breastmilk banks and formula. We'd like to continue nursing and/or providing pumped breastmilk until she's at least 18 months old, and possibly longer depending on logistical factors of our lives at that time.

Because breast is, obviously, best.

Incidentally, we got our nursing pillow in the mail yesterday, which just about completes our most necessary supplies! Hurrah!

We'd love to read your thoughts in the comments below. They should be open to everyone now, and we won't close them unless SPAMmers get out of control. What do you think about breastfeeding?