Heartbeat! ~ 24 weeks

Sorry for the delay in posting, the last few weeks have been very busy. The busy-ness included a wonderful baby shower that my sisters hosted for me when I visited home in Tennessee a few weeks ago where I got to see just about every member of my extended family in one place, which is a rare occurrence. I'll make a separate post about that soon!

Yesterday I went in for a 24 week checkup. My doctor usually does a sonogram to listen to Baby's heartbeat, and this time I got smart and asked if I could use my phone to capture it for my family and friends who read my blog. So here it is (along with a closeup of the palm of my hand since there was really nothing worthwhile to actually video).

She seems to be nice and healthy, with a normal heartbeat (about 150 BPM). She's moving a lot these days, and it's much easier to feel her movements from the outside of my tummy. Doug laid his head on my belly last night and talked to her. It was so sweet!

Our next ultrasound won't happen for another 8 weeks or so. Only about 16 weeks to go until full term!

To stroll, or not to stroll...

As my belly grows and begins to move more insistently, it's becoming increasingly "real' -- we will soon have another person in our family! Which means another person in our apartment. Another person who apparently "needs" a lot of STUFF. Stuff which we honestly may not have room for.

At a future point, I may post a photo of our apartment layout, and I think you'll agree that there's not much space for much more stuff. We could move to a larger apartment, and we might do so. But it will add cost to our already tight budget, plus the cost of furnishing it. Nor am I honestly convinced that all that stuff is really necessary for raising children. As we consider the larger (and more expensive!)  items available for purchase, one of the first to come under scrutiny is the ubiquitous stroller. Even if it folds, we don't even have much space for a folded stroller. And do we really need it?

Apparently there's a whole anti-stroller movement, perhaps related to the attachment parenting movement, that's connected to a philosophical objection to strollers. This movement coincides with a maniacal (and trendy) determination to carry babies in slings and carriers, a trend known as "baby-wearing." I don't think we quite fit into either camp, at least not for philosophical reasons. But after some consideration we're pretty sure we're going to try being parents without housing a stroller.

Random baby in awesome backpack

Doug and I are both perfectly able-bodied people. We live right across the street from the grocery store, a block from the train station, and we have a car for longer trips. There is no place that we have to go regularly that's more than a mile from our apartment, and the only reason we'd walk further than that would be to get exercise. We enjoy hiking, which is not exactly stroller-friendly. Our bodies are about the same size, so it would be easy to switch a baby carrier when we get tired.

Random mama with mountain baby: stroller-free!

So I'm looking into various kinds of slings and carriers for the various stages of development. Wearing newborn baby in a sling on our chests is a great way to keep her quiet, comforted, warm, and safe. There are larger convertible carriers that can be worn on the front or the back, with baby facing forward or back. Once baby reaches toddler-size, there's an awesome backpack-style carrier that looks perfect.

All signs are pointing to a stroller-free household for us!

Next up for consideration: there will be no nursery. So where will our baby sleep?

Amazon Wish Lists!

We've started our wish lists for baby! There are two right now, one for newborn and one for infant, just to help us keep separated in our heads what we think we need immediately and what can wait a few months.

There are no large items on our lists, yet, because we won't have room for a separate nursery for baby and we're deciding what we REALLY need, reading product reviews, etc. We'll obviously need a car seat and a play yard, but we're not sure about a stroller or any of the larger play devices like swings, seats, etc.

So here you go, for now:

Click here for the newborn wish list

Click here for infant wish list

We need to add books and more clothes to our lists! I'll work on that, this week.

The prevalence of pink ~ 20 weeks

So, now we know that our baby is a girl! Hurrah! But what does that really mean?

It certainly doesn't mean that our lives will be permeated by the color pink from now on. At least, we hope it doesn't. Google the terms "girl baby clothes." It doesn't turn up a lot of non-pink options. It seems that if it's up to marketers of baby clothing, etc., being a female in raised in our consumerist culture apparently means that she will be clad from day 1, and from head to toe (and hopefully surrounded by) pink, frills, lace, sparkles, doo-dads, and is a likely candidate for absurdities like high heels for babies, nail polish and lipstick and princess dresses. The marketers' idea of a girl is a baby who will play with pink toys, she will nestle into pink blankets, she will have appropriately "feminine" decor and accessories... but WHY??!!

Doesn't this seem like we're pushing our daughters from the earliest possible age into an image that society has created for them?

No pink, but still "looks like a girl!" It's possible!

Now... Doug and I don't consider ourselves to be "feminists," per se, and this isn't really a post about feminism. On the other hand, I, Sandi, am a woman who grew up pushing the boundaries of what most cultures, even in our relatively enlightened age, would consider "appropriately girlish." As such, I am very aware of the subtle ways that culture can work to create bias from before the day an infant even enters the world.

I wasn't a total tomboy... I remember loving a particular (navy blue) Sunday School dress when I was a little girl, and I enjoyed ballet and My Little Ponies... but I also loved running around in my underwear with paint on my face and a toy bow and arrow or a sword. I liked to read encyclopedias...because they were interesting, and available on the family bookshelves. I loved dinosaurs and castles and learning about native Americans and climbing trees and wandering in the woods. There is a picture of me hanging somewhere in my parents' house, at the age of about 5, where I am holding up a snake that I'd found in a dead tree next door. My arm is fully extended over my head and the snake's tail is dragging the ground. I loved it, and a few years later I kept pet snakes. And mice. And birds. And rabbits. But I digress.

Yay! Chuck Taylors! And they're not pink!

The simplest and least subversive explanation for all the pink is the "need" to identify an androgynous infant/toddler to others. The very first question everyone has asked me so far upon learning that I'm expecting has been, "do you know what sex it is?" I'll admit that knowing that I'm carrying a daughter allows for a more personal linguistic approach. Saying "she" is more familiar and personal-sounding than "it," even when we're not sharing her name. But there's more...

The knowledge that a baby is a "she" conjures up in each of us an image shaped by our own upbringing and culture. Whatever femininity means to you, that is where your brain probably goes when you learn that someone you haven't yet met is female. For many families the knowledge that they are expecting a daughter/granddaughter/niece conjures thoughts of pink, frills, lace, dresses, pretty faces, sweetness, soft gentleness, dolls, tea sets, etc.

A delightfully neutral-toned little girl. Want!

While we won't rule out that our daughter could decide to love pink and all that goes with it (according to the marketers), Doug and I prefer to let her make that decision when she's capable of making decisions, rather than decking her out from the get-go. We're not against dresses and a certain number of bows (grudgingly), but we're hoping to keep her attired in interesting and versatile clothes, to make all the books she can read available to her, and to make her toys educational and gender-neutral. We have an amazon wish list started, which consists of as much non-pink and pro-learning as we can find.

Soon we'll share it with you, but in the meantime I just had to let you know how we feel about pink.