The prevalence of pink ~ 20 weeks

So, now we know that our baby is a girl! Hurrah! But what does that really mean?

It certainly doesn't mean that our lives will be permeated by the color pink from now on. At least, we hope it doesn't. Google the terms "girl baby clothes." It doesn't turn up a lot of non-pink options. It seems that if it's up to marketers of baby clothing, etc., being a female in raised in our consumerist culture apparently means that she will be clad from day 1, and from head to toe (and hopefully surrounded by) pink, frills, lace, sparkles, doo-dads, and is a likely candidate for absurdities like high heels for babies, nail polish and lipstick and princess dresses. The marketers' idea of a girl is a baby who will play with pink toys, she will nestle into pink blankets, she will have appropriately "feminine" decor and accessories... but WHY??!!

Doesn't this seem like we're pushing our daughters from the earliest possible age into an image that society has created for them?

No pink, but still "looks like a girl!" It's possible!

Now... Doug and I don't consider ourselves to be "feminists," per se, and this isn't really a post about feminism. On the other hand, I, Sandi, am a woman who grew up pushing the boundaries of what most cultures, even in our relatively enlightened age, would consider "appropriately girlish." As such, I am very aware of the subtle ways that culture can work to create bias from before the day an infant even enters the world.

I wasn't a total tomboy... I remember loving a particular (navy blue) Sunday School dress when I was a little girl, and I enjoyed ballet and My Little Ponies... but I also loved running around in my underwear with paint on my face and a toy bow and arrow or a sword. I liked to read encyclopedias...because they were interesting, and available on the family bookshelves. I loved dinosaurs and castles and learning about native Americans and climbing trees and wandering in the woods. There is a picture of me hanging somewhere in my parents' house, at the age of about 5, where I am holding up a snake that I'd found in a dead tree next door. My arm is fully extended over my head and the snake's tail is dragging the ground. I loved it, and a few years later I kept pet snakes. And mice. And birds. And rabbits. But I digress.

Yay! Chuck Taylors! And they're not pink!

The simplest and least subversive explanation for all the pink is the "need" to identify an androgynous infant/toddler to others. The very first question everyone has asked me so far upon learning that I'm expecting has been, "do you know what sex it is?" I'll admit that knowing that I'm carrying a daughter allows for a more personal linguistic approach. Saying "she" is more familiar and personal-sounding than "it," even when we're not sharing her name. But there's more...

The knowledge that a baby is a "she" conjures up in each of us an image shaped by our own upbringing and culture. Whatever femininity means to you, that is where your brain probably goes when you learn that someone you haven't yet met is female. For many families the knowledge that they are expecting a daughter/granddaughter/niece conjures thoughts of pink, frills, lace, dresses, pretty faces, sweetness, soft gentleness, dolls, tea sets, etc.

A delightfully neutral-toned little girl. Want!

While we won't rule out that our daughter could decide to love pink and all that goes with it (according to the marketers), Doug and I prefer to let her make that decision when she's capable of making decisions, rather than decking her out from the get-go. We're not against dresses and a certain number of bows (grudgingly), but we're hoping to keep her attired in interesting and versatile clothes, to make all the books she can read available to her, and to make her toys educational and gender-neutral. We have an amazon wish list started, which consists of as much non-pink and pro-learning as we can find.

Soon we'll share it with you, but in the meantime I just had to let you know how we feel about pink.