Controversy is exhausting. ~25 weeks

Today Baby is 25 weeks along, with 15 weeks to go if we make it to full term. There have been no indications that I won't, so far. In three weeks, I'll officially begin the third trimester! Things are getting close!

24 week belly!

As we get closer, we're starting to think more and more about the upcoming changes. Well, actually Doug is thinking about when to introduce calculus, what college she'll get into, and the relative merits of arranged marriage; while I'm thinking about more pressing matters like how to get this squirming, bladder-punishing being out of my belly, and the logistics of early infant care. I guess we make a good team?

I'd like as un-medicated and natural a birthing process as possible, so I'm looking into into interviewing doulas in the coming weeks (what's a doula? click here to learn) to help us manage through the delivery (studies show a huge difference in women who follow through with natural, unmedicated birth plans when they use doulas). Fortunately, my OB and hospital are very supportive of parents who use doulas, which is apparently not the case in many other areas.

It's continually amazing to me how much conflict exists within the world of parenting. I mentioned something about this in my post about strollers. The 21st Century world of parenting is simply filled with controversy... why can't we all just get along?? From "natural birthing plans" vs. entirely medically-managed births, to breastfeeding vs. formula, to "attachment parenting" vs. "cry it out" parenting methods, and don't get me started on the "strict schedules" vs. "flexible routines" arguments, and on... people love to argue and judge one another's choices!

My overall goal is to keep the controversy out of my home so that we can focus on our family. This can be challenging; Doug and I have a lot of decisions to make, and our approaches to most things are somewhat different. Doug generally likes to find established rules and guidelines and stay within them fairly strictly, while always searching for better rules and guidelines. This is probably why he's so good with data, statistics, comparative linguistics, etc. It could also be why he can be obsessive and anxious at times, when things aren't following "the rules" or situations deviate from expectations. He also enjoys debate and discourse far more than I do (which may be difficult for my family to believe, but it's true), because they help him to sort through his thoughts.

View from the bottom of the mountain...

I like to gather input and experientially learn about all kinds of different ways of doing things. I will make my choices and establish my own routines based on what I learn. I tend to pick out what I like and try different things to figure out what works best for different situations. This approach has worked great for most aspects of my life, except perhaps following rules and caring about expectations of others... but it can also make me seem very rigid and resistant to changing what I've already figured out works well.

I rather expect raising a child to require more flexibility than rigidity.... It seems completely obvious to me that parenting can throw so many unexpected situations at us that it's not helpful to hurl judgement at one another instead of encouragement and support. I guess we'll see!

(PS - This post doesn't mean that Doug and I are fighting, just that I'm aware of how much potential there is for discord between us and society, and trying to be proactive about managing it!)